It took me some time to recognise that my frequent longing for solitude was not anti-social behaviour nor indeed abnormal, but rather was a healthy aspect of rebalancing myself. For some individuals their need to be without any company is extreme, requiring hermitage somewhere isolated for months if not years from which they may never fully emerge, so wonderful has been the experience of having only the world of nature and their beingness in their life. From it they will (usually) be wiser, strengthened, and certainly closer to God.
A pleasure in being alone indicates independence, someone who has no need of others for their fulfilment but who is fully comfortable with themselves at the level of being human and being in their spirituality. The person who hates to be without other people is, perhaps, afraid to have only himself or herself to explore: there is the fear of what they might find if they were forced to look below their surface; their friends may be a support for their self-image; and they may act as a distraction from inner truth. This does not mean that a busy social life is wrong – it can be an excellent way to relax and enjoy life so long as it does not become a dependency.
My thoughts on the subject of regenerative solitude were triggered by a chance hearing of the last few minutes of “the Digital Human”
on BBC Radio 4 yesterday in which the constant connectivity of modern life in the context of loneliness was discussed. There were moving stories from different contributors about their periodic but overwhelming need for isolation and the benefits they gained from finding it, whether it was a night on their own away from their family or a far longer period.
If you too feel the calling, I encourage you to find a way to be alone as soon as you are able because if you supress or ignore the message it will affect your well-being at many levels. In this Age of Light we are part of the human community with our part to play, but we are Spirit too – and Spirit needs nurturing, in its own way.
Claire Montanaro is a spiritual teacher, channel and blogger. Loves nature and wildlife. Author of Spiritual Wisdom.