Succeeding a Pontiff who was very much loved will have been hard for a modest, private man looking forward to retirement after a lifetime spent in the study and development of Christian doctrine and Catholic standards. He is a cerebral man with a love of books, language and music for whom the constant spotlight of the Papacy must have been challenging initially and possibly is still, particularly for a man who was elderly even when the mantle of leadership of a worldwide church was put upon him. Only he knows, but it seems likely that he felt both duty to the ministry and apprehension as to his worthiness and reception - and duty drove him on.
It was not easy to have persevered in his demanding role through almost a decade of massive scandals to do with abuse and corruption at the heart of the Church, and constant judgment about his own position and conservative beliefs. I wonder too how far he felt supported or otherwise by the cardinals and Vatican bureaucrats around him: he seemed sometimes to be a lonely figure despite the pomp and ritual.
The loneliness disappeared when he was with those people he saw as his flock. His amazement and appreciation of the uncritical love shown to him by thousands, millions of men, women and children who travelled far to be in his presence in the many parts of the world to which he travelled was clear, and I believe it gave him strength. I watched, from a distance, his visit to Britain which was extraordinary and moving for the demonstration of love towards him in an often sceptical country. His love, in return, was clear and just as heart-warming.
I cannot know, but it may be that the love he came to know and give helped him at the level of man and soul enormously, particularly with the problems of the Vatican which overshadowed his tenure so much. I hope, after his retirement, he will remember that love and that it will continue to warm and comfort him for the months and years that are left to him.]]>
