As revelation and accusation was being made about well-known personalities such as William Roache, Rolf Harris, Max Clifford, and now Stuart Hall, as well of course as Jimmy Savile the history of whom precipitated the catalytic flood of complaints, I was told of two men, husbands of people I know slightly, who were addicted to sex in different ways – extreme pornography in one and constant infidelity in the other: In hearing of these sad episodes, I learned that for some people, crossing the line just once, perhaps out of curiosity, can create an obsessive dependency on the perversion just as one drink or drug can “hook” someone else with an addictive personality, and that just as a drug addict needs more and more to satisfy the craving, so it is with an addiction to a particular form of sex: it can grow out of all proportion to the point of being very dangerous as well as illegal.
The good news is that, if admitted and addressed in time, through counselling and therapy sex addicts can be assisted before their conduct gets badly out of control – but few men – and women too – are prepared to admit they have a problem. I am rather sorry that in all the media frenzy about what household names might have done in the past, little has been said about how they could have been deterred from their reported, or admitted, abuses at an early stage, and what people with a problem over misusing sex can do to help themselves. If Stuart Hall, for example, were to say not just that he was guilty, as he has done, but that he had been addicted and what this meant medically and socially, some might listen, think and act – before it got too late for them. It is one of the most serious human issues of our age, and too often the one least talked about.
Claire Montanaro is a spiritual teacher, channel and blogger. Loves nature and wildlife. Author of Spiritual Wisdom.