With Expectation comes Disappointment….

It had been with some trepidation that I subscribed, after much research, to a website which would enable me to offer live video streaming through my own tv channel, and I saw this – and still do – as a wonderful way to offer meditations and teaching to as many people as would want to watch them. I knew there would be advertisements, but until I received feedback after a meditation for the Equinox I had not realised their extent nor their intrusive nature, and I was dismayed that what should have been an enjoyable and helpful experience was spoiled. Having offered guided meditations through workshops or pre-recordings for many years, it was the first time that there had been interference, and I thought deeply afterwards about why it had happened and the learnings from it. On a practical level the experience taught me about the importance of careful research and, at an early stage in the process, that Ustream is not the right broadcasting vehicle for my work; it showed me how useful this service could be in order to expand my accessibility; through it I was reminded of the kindness of my friends and clients who tuned in and either were too polite to comment on the periodic “chatter” they heard or offered generous feedback and constructive suggestions as to where to go next; I was reminded me of the principles of acceptance and non-judgment, and even though I had gone into it without, I believed, any expectation, there must have been some to have resulted in the disappointment I felt, however momentarily. Even though I know that nothing matters and that everything happens for a reason, I am so sorry if you were one of the people who chose to meditate with me on Saturday and were disturbed. I intend to try again, and I will ensure, this time, it is ad-free! All the alternatives I have explored since then have their own drawbacks whether through cost, limitation or complication, and I would welcome any further ideas of viable options. Technology, increasingly, is the expression of Spirit to the world and in my own small way I want to be a part of it – but without expectation, of course.]]>